The Gentleman: Part One

17 Apr

Women admire and are attracted to “men” who are masculine and moral.  Yes, there are females who gravitate towards the “bad boys”; but for the most part, those exceptions can surely claim they are struggling against their inner demons.  In the end of the day, us women want to be associated with “men” who embody the GENTLEMAN.

My girlfriends have often discussed the idea of creating a manual for guys called, “How to Be An Attractive Man 101” .  On the flip side, we would definitely encourage guys to create a manual on what defines the “leading lady”.  Anyway, I hope this portion of my blog is seen as useful and insightful.   Hopefully, it’ll inspire some guys to embrace the “gentleman” inside them.

How to Be a Gentleman (from a female perspective) *Listed in no particular order*:


1.  Have good faith-  A man of good faith is a man of humility, justice and hope. He is a man of wonder and awe.  He is not held down by negative thoughts, but stands with good-will behavior.

2.  Hold the door open; offer a seat–  This subtle gesture speaks a thousand words.  It says: “I’m looking out for you”.  “I’m on top of my game.”  It also says, “I treat my mother, elders, and sisters well”…

3.  Ask questions-  This shows that you are a man of curiosity. A curious man is an explorer; he knows how to set the landscape for an adventure.   A curious man thrives on knowledge. A man of knowledge is valuable.

4.  Listen–  A man who listens is able to formulate answers based on logic and reason.  A man of logic and reason can think clear-headed and most likely make better decisions.

5.  Laugh…. Cry- A man with a sense of humor knows how to deliver joy…  A man who is able to shed a tear shows he has a heart.

6.  Be ambitious – A man of ambition knows never to give up.  Ambitious men have goals and are physically active.

7.  Dress decently-  A man who knows how to dress decently represents a man who can take care of his health and living style.

8.  Be “independent”–  Women love men that can make it on their own.  They also admire a man who can think on his own won’t base his actions on traditional or social preference.  He is comfortable in his own skin.  He isn’t afraid to stand up for what he believes is right.

9.  Appreciate-  A man who speaks wonders of his surroundings is a man of passion and good faith.  A man who appreciates, will be up for a positive and productive discussion.

10. Respectfully take initiative– A man who takes respectful initiative is a man you can feel safe around.  He can make his way around, pay for dinner; initiate dialogue with poise and confidence.  You know he’ll make or is a great father.

11.  Pay your bills, and better if on time-  He has his act together.

12.  Pop the hood of your car for a minor fix-  Women appreciate men who are not afraid of getting their hands dirty;  whether it’s fixing a car , lifting some heavy boxes, and/or washing the dishes.


1.  Decorate your  facebook page with an array of self-taken  pictures–  One word:  Myspace.  Also, keep the displayed pictures to a minimum. Have them, just don’t go tooo crazy posting pictures.  Don’t ask why… Just keep them to a minimum.    Women view the ideal man as not self-infatuated.

2.  Wax your chest.  Grooming is fine… But don’t thread your eyebrows, wax your chest, or any other part of your body…. IF you want to groom that’s fine, if you want to make two eyebrows out of one, that’s fine too.  But please don’t be ashamed of your body hair; you are a man.  If a woman prefers you hairless; give her a Ken doll and call it a day.

3. Whine–  Once in a while it’s fine; that’s what you call protesting.  But if a guy is constantly whining, it shows that he is a guy of words and not action. It also shows that he is too self involved.

4.  Gossip–  Gossiping is wrong… Women shouldn’t do it, and when men do it; it’s really really unattractive….

5.  Stay quiet–  I actually admire men of few words.  If you are a man of a few words, choose your words wisely, and use them at the right time…. Don’t  stay quiet if something wrong is happening; know how to take a stand.

6. Interrogate–  There’s a difference between asking questions and interrogation.  Paranoia is a sickness.

7.  Send long emails cussing  a female-  Please don’t- there’s no turning back on this action.  Don’t blame failed communication on a girl; what’s done is done, it’s all part of God’s plan.  Know how to move forward and not feel resentment against a woman.  Once you lose your cool and say unforgiving words to a woman, that person never forgets.  Learn to represent yourself as a man of self-control and dignity.  If you’ve lost your cool; apologize and move on separately.

8.  Hit and abuse (verbally/physically )-   Wise men will only “fight” a person out of defense.  Also, never lay a hand on a woman, this shows your no man at all….  A true gentleman is aware of his emotions and his surroundings.  He knows when to walk away and when to pursue.  Out of respect for himself, he will not disrespect others. Again, when next to a gentleman, one feels safe and comfortable.

9.  Cheat–  this shows you’re not reliable.

10.  Appear Too Needy–  People in general should know how to be comfortable independently.  A guy who doesn’t expect much in return from his surroundings is what you call a truly independent man.  A guy who is in constant search of attention reminds some of us of a  baby in need of a bottle from a caretaker’s hands. Don’t mistaken this with not initiating contact or questions…. The point is, to act selflessly when need be, and not to expect  too much in return.

In short,  a true gentleman is aware of his surroundings.  His characteristics fit a leadership role, and yet, the way he carries himself is in a humble and decent manner.  Hope this read was insightful and inspiring!


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